Archives for posts with tag: holidays

So the aftermath of Thanksgiving is still ringing loudly in my ears.  Does anyone else feel like the world is accelerating at unmanageable speeds?

In light of how terrible things are going right now – my gf and I sought solace in the only place we could. Holiday sales.

Behold the haul, courtesy of outlet malls:

American Rag Coat. New favorite winter thing. That black lining is the inner quilted zipper layer. 

AmRag coat from the back. DOUBLE VENTED, people.

I actually bought this in oatmeal, not the brown. I am a whore for Calvin Klein.

My face doesn’t do regular aviators, but non-droopy, more square ones look quite nice. Kenneth Cole.

Because I needed to update my work bag, and my gf + Kenneth Cole leather = love.

Red cords are festive. And warm. And even though I’m no longer in college, I can still love Gap.

I actually got this in corduroy, and not this brand – an off-brand, not-too-puffy vest. For a layer over the oatmeal sweater. Because I needed a hug.

Because I still love grandpa chic.

Yes, we bought some gifts for OTHER people too. But I haven’t had new clothes in forever, and there’s something wonderful about loving what you put on everyday, even if you’re like me and that could easily be the same pair of jeans and t-shirt over and over again.


So that whole gratitude armor thing didn’t really work. On Friday morning, before I was even showered, my father went in for the political kill. The argument that ensued involved me telling him to fuck off and him telling me to get the fuck out, so C and I packed our stuff and came back home.

And the thing is, the fight wasn’t about politics, or money, or any of the things actually discussed. The fight was entirely about each of us respecting the other, and talking to the other in a respectful way.

I was reminded forcibly of this excellent post from Butch Wonders:

To discuss issues with someone, I have prior questions.  A central one is: are we equals?  I am using “equals” in the sense of people who see each other as people, discussing and exchanging ideas–in the “all people are created equal” sense.  Does the person value me and consider me valid as a human?

To me, someone who does not believe in equal rights for gays and lesbians sees me (and/or my behavior) as subhuman.  They do not believe that my full, real self is equal to their full, real self.  They do not see me and my life the same way they see themselves and their lives.  For this reason, the answer to the prior question of whether this is a person with whom I can engage in rational debate is “no.”  If you don’t see me as your equal in terms of the human rights I deserve, it’s very, very difficult for me to think you’re worthwhile to engage with about anything else.

(Read the entire thing here.)

I don’t think my dad thinks I’m his equal, in this sense. Sure, he loves me – that is not even a question. But you can love something you still pity and wish to control.

Hi all –

I was talking with a friend today who mentioned that she was having a hard time finding the right small-ish gift for her butch gf, and so I threw out some ideas. I thought I would share here a few last minute sure-to-win items. (Most of these are under $30, with a few splurge items for those with the means.)

1. The Skinny Tie: versatile. Casual or formal, goes well with most button-downs. I suggest black, red, or other solid colors paired with a patterned shirt. Catch it while it’s still in style. Or, while you’re still in a Brat Pack film, whichever ends first. 🙂

the skinny black (or other colored) tie

2. The Mighty Wallet: recycled! Thin! Forward-thinking! Doesn’t make your back pocket bulge bigger than a leather daddy’s christmas stocking! Many designs to choose from!

the mighty wallet illuminates my favorite city

3. Cassette tape iPhone case: I heart retro love.

In black or white. Doesn't need winding with a pencil.

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