Archives for category: queer

I think I may have to get more tattoos – especially if I move up to SF anytime soon.  This gallery of Meg Allen’s BUTCH portrait project is awesome and beautiful, and I hope she expands it to take photos in other cities and not-cities across the country. I lot of us look quite a bit less “styled” than her handsome Bay Area subjects…

The new Oscars poster came out today:


That’s basically the height of butch* success, to me. To be recognized, as a performer, at the industry’s main event – in a fabulous gender-bending tux. I heart black tie.

Damn that it’s always the funny girls.


*not that I necessarily think Ellen’s very butch, but you know – she does good things in a Brooks Brothers vest. I gotta hand it to her stylist.

I have mixed feelings about the uprising of internet personalities who gain sometimes awesome and sometimes undeserved traction through YouTube/etc channels (Jenna Marbles, anyone?). On the one hand, I know as a performer that the best way to excel is to perform – constantly, consistently, in front of an audience. Put your work out there as often as possible. Get the feedback, good or bad, and go with it and make more stuff. I love that. On the other hand – man am I tired of listening to stupid videos and worse, seeing stupid comments on stupid videos. If you have nothing to say, don’t make a video, and if you have nothing nice to comment about, DO NOT leave a comment, jackass. Please.

On the flip side – an incredible thing about internet video stars that I do wholeheartedly LOVE is how I see it empowering queer performers who would otherwise be ignored almost completely.  That just fuckin’ rules.

This has been making the rounds, and it’s basically how I feel every day:

Fuck yeah. <3 Hart. We’re both in SoCal. We should totally wear some melon together.


I just realized that when I was in nyc last week I ONLY saw queer friends. The. entire. time.

I suppose the exception could be the friend that I stayed with, who is now dating a man, however since she is my ex-fiancee I think she still counts. She amassed quite a few toasters after we broke up too.

But seriously – I may have even made up for the lack of queer buddies out here in LA for a considerable time. I saw seven queer friends and a play with Alan Cumming (king of the pretty queers, imho), drank too much at a lady bar, and I auditioned to puppet a giant fake animal.

Possibly the gayest trip ever, at least for a trip that didn’t involve anything tropical or a white party.


So that whole gratitude armor thing didn’t really work. On Friday morning, before I was even showered, my father went in for the political kill. The argument that ensued involved me telling him to fuck off and him telling me to get the fuck out, so C and I packed our stuff and came back home.

And the thing is, the fight wasn’t about politics, or money, or any of the things actually discussed. The fight was entirely about each of us respecting the other, and talking to the other in a respectful way.

I was reminded forcibly of this excellent post from Butch Wonders:

To discuss issues with someone, I have prior questions.  A central one is: are we equals?  I am using “equals” in the sense of people who see each other as people, discussing and exchanging ideas–in the “all people are created equal” sense.  Does the person value me and consider me valid as a human?

To me, someone who does not believe in equal rights for gays and lesbians sees me (and/or my behavior) as subhuman.  They do not believe that my full, real self is equal to their full, real self.  They do not see me and my life the same way they see themselves and their lives.  For this reason, the answer to the prior question of whether this is a person with whom I can engage in rational debate is “no.”  If you don’t see me as your equal in terms of the human rights I deserve, it’s very, very difficult for me to think you’re worthwhile to engage with about anything else.

(Read the entire thing here.)

I don’t think my dad thinks I’m his equal, in this sense. Sure, he loves me – that is not even a question. But you can love something you still pity and wish to control.

Location: Trader Joe’s, Silverlake (yes, again… we seem irresistibly drawn to cheap organic produce and 2 buck chuck)

Look: Super hipster awesome butch. Cabby hat, grey cutoffs, and some dapper socks to accent her moccasins. Her gf/grocery friend was equally hipster cute, with some sort of jazzy gold pants.