I’ve been musing on these questions a lot lately:
What is the line between butch and not-butch? Or, in my case, between looking butch and looking “pretty”?
When people call me in to audition for butch roles, half the time I get told I’m not “butch enough”. The other half of the time I get weird lesbian jokes because I am obviously the most gigantic butch they have ever seen.
When I choose to wear makeup, why does that make non-butch women think I’m “toning down” my butchness? I think it’s butch to know what makes you look awesome, and man, some under-eye concealer makes me look awesome. Yes, I still am like a gorilla wielding a teaspoon of peanut butter when I handle most makeup products, but I’m faring.
Why do so many people think being butch also equates to being any of the following: unstylish, ill-groomed, overweight, overly-casual in dress or manner, or not having an opinion about any of the above?
Because I stopped worrying about how big my chest is (big, and not for lack of trying to eliminate it), does that make me less butch to all the fancy flat-chested butches out there, writing fashion advice and wearing stylish suspenders?
Why do my straight friends still see my labeling myself as butch as something less-than, or unnecessary, and how can I better educate them that this is my choice and how I am comfortable?
Yes, I’m out, but am I proud? Working on it…
So, I’ve been meaning to ask, have you ever seen any of Azora Telford’s work (like http://youtu.be/hUt4W8sE8Ns)? Because when I think of “pretty butch,” she comes to mind as someone who does it well. No one would ever say she’s not butch enough, but they’d have to say she was “pretty” as well. I mean, she wears make up and all that. I wonder if she runs into the same problems you do?
Hi JR – Thanks for this! I had seen pics of her but hadn’t seen that (smokin’ hot) video yet. She’s amazing – somehow I feel like she is simultaneously prettier and butcher than I am, which is kind of fun. But she definitely gets to express her butch identity in a different way, a little more prominently than I do, given the line I walk within my performing career. But that’s the edge I’m pushing against – she totally crashes through that boundary; I find it so heartening to see.